Monday, 13 April 2015

Farewell grin

I have two dogs and I was buying a large bag of Purina at Costco and standing in line at the check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Purina Diet again although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Wednesday, 8 April 2015

Bye for now

Hi, and I hope you're all well. This will probably be my last post on here as the domain name expires in a few days and I've decided not to bother re-newing.

Various reasons behind my decision but the main one is lack of interest from the people at whom the site was aimed, i.e. the over sixties. After four or more years I've still only managed to gather thirty four followers and if I get more than one hundred hits a day I've done well.

After a while one get's fed up with writing and getting little or no response, and you stop bothering.

I'll be starting another blog, on what subject I'm not sure. I'll be checking around to find a subject that produces a response.

The funniest thing about this blog is that I originally started it because I believed that there were/are a lot of over sixty year olds that had the same attitude as myself, i.e. we're around for a long time yet so let's make the most of it. Sadly, I've found that far to many people in our age group take the "Why bother, I'll be dead soon?" attitude.

Those who've been with me from the start, thank you, very, very much. If anybody wants to get in touch it would be great to hear from you and my direct email's jamescurtisuk@gmail.com

Keep your eyes on the net as there will be another blog floating soon.

Warmest Regards, 

Jim Curtis x x x

Friday, 13 February 2015

Got the hump



D’you ever get the feeling that life’s one big obstacle course and maybe, just maybe, it might be a relief to get to the end of it?
Been going through a right shitty period recently and it makes you wonder, don’t you think? My daughter’s just been given the all clear after her second Cancer scare within the last four months and then o make the treble, my sister’s just been diagnosed  with Parkinson’s disease. I’m gutted. Obviously not as gutted as she is, but thoroughly pissed off. She’s 58 and it’s hit her very hard. I know that as with most illnesses in this day and age treatment for Parkinson’s as come on in leaps and bounds but she still has to live with it hanging over her head and wondering when things will worsen.

It’s a sobering thought to think that before too long, all of us in this age group will no longer be around isn’t it? I often find myself, particularly after having had a nice day or evening in Summer, going through the “Wonder how many more of these I’ve got left?” All the more reason to enjoy the time we have left which is why it really pisses me off when things happen to people as in the case of my sister.

You may recall that I had Cancer a few years ago and my treatment was faultless from start to finish and consequently I’m here to tell the tale. But, there’s thousands that don’t make it and the biggest reason for this is that there’s not enough money to fund further research. Why? We can always find enough money to go and fight wars that have nothing at all to do with us yet we can’t find enough to fight various illnesses. Politicians are all totally useless, don’t you think? All the promises they’ve made are never mentioned once they get to power. The saddest thing is that they’re all equally as bad as one another.  They’re only interested in furthering their own careers and improving their own lots.

I’ve gone on and on here without any real direction, haven’t I? Still, it’s what blogs are for isn’t it, really? Getting one’s thoughts aired.

Thanks for stopping by and I promise to be more cheerful in future.

Oh, and by the way, I’ve got a toothache……

Monday, 9 February 2015

Points to ponder

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.




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Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


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Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.


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Why do we leave cars worth thousands of rands in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage.


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EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?


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Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?


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Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?


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Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?


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Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?


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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavouring, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?


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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?


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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?


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Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?


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Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


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Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?


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You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!


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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


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Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?


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If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Monday, 2 February 2015

Copy, paste and circulate please

Pension Theft
Theft -The UK Government Hand-Outs List
We read all the jokes and forward the good ones, but I just wonder who will pass this one on. How about you sending it on, and back to me, if you have the inclination to do so. I have, and I just wonder how many I will get back? I am very happy to be a member of the 1%.
Someone please tell me what the Hell is wrong with all of the people that are running this country!!!
LABOUR, CONSERVATIVES &LIBERALS,
ALL say We're "broke" and can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless, etc.,
In the past few years we have provided direct cash [£] aid to
£M
Congo
359
Egypt
397
Ethiopia
981
Haiti
1400
Hamas
351
Iraq
1080
Jordan
463
Kazakhstan
304
Kenya
816
Libya
1450
Mexico
622
Mozambique
404
Nigeria
456
Pakistan
2000
Russia
380
Senegal
698
South Africa
566
Sudan
870
Tanzania
554
Uganda
451
Zambia
331
TOTAL
£14,933,000,000.00
Giving them a total of literally £14,933 Billions of Pounds - and the majority of them Still hate us !!!
Our retired seniors - living on a 'fixed income'
Do they get any breaks ??? While our government and religious organisations pour Hundreds of Billions of Pounds and Tons of Food to a vast list of Foreign Countries!
We have hundreds of adoptable children who are shoved aside to make room for the adoption of foreign orphans.
In the UK where we have Homeless without shelter, children going to bed hungry, elderly going without needed medication or fuel to heat their homes and mentally ill without treatment... Etc.
YET. .. .We still allow illegal "Deprived People" & other free loaders on our shores. While we are lining up to give them food, clothes, bedding, doctors, medical supplies and whatever else they need.
Can you Imagine what it would be like if "OUR GOVERNMENT" gave 'US' the same support they give to other countries.
Sad isn't it?

Please, copy and paste this and send it to as many people as you can.